The Abyss of Talking Smack

A tiny smidgen of conversation between my mom and I today really got me thinking about how fragile good moods really are. I've had to tell people before not to talk to me about certain people because it doesn't do much for morale.

For instance, I was working a stint in the costume shop, and my draper was the boss of our team, then there was the first hand, then two stitchers, of which I was one. My draper and I were close friends and have been for a long time, but she didn't like her first hand and talked smack about her every chance she got. It was a hard show we were working on, and attitudes were lagging anyway, so I eventually had to point out to my boss that I didn't want to hear about her first hand anymore because it didn't do anything to improve morale on our team.

It's easy to forget how gossip and griping about people saps the energy out of a room, regardless of who it is you're talking smack about. You could be on the bus, complaining to your friend about politics or some famous person neither of you will ever actually talk to, and it wears away on the good moods around you. It darkens the sky above people and spreads crappy feelings everywhere.

So I try as hard as I can not to get too sucked into negativity. The more I talk about how much someone drives me crazy, the more it plunges me into a crevasse, and the longer I let it continue the deeper I get and the harder it is to pull myself out of it.

My mother, on the other hand! I wonder if she's ever noticed this pattern. She can talk smack about someone she swears she loves, and she'll go on and on and on until I stop her, never even noticing how she's spoiling moods around her. So today she was talking smack about a new mother friend of ours, and I finally told her, "Gee, I hope you're not that critical of me when I'm a mom!"

To which she retorted, "Better watch it!"

Yikes! Now I know that my mom is going to be critiquing my parenting methods to her friends and family. Good thing I have some time to get used to the idea.