bag envy

I love to look at magazines. Anyone who looks at lots of magazines eventually figures out that it tends to contribute to consumerism. So this week I've been lusting after some fall fashions. Clothes this season are boring as all hell, so instead I'm finding myself lusting after purses.

I've convinced myself that I need a reptile bag. And naturally in the course of looking online for reptile bags I'm getting sidetracked.

For instance:

yes, summer's over, but it's never over in my vivid imagination!

Here's a bargain compared to the 16K version I saw just before this one!


I like this Zac Posen one too. It's very 1970's Deco:


This is neat, yet ugly. I truly admore the handiwork!


Python, anyone?

This one reminds my husband of the catsuit I wore on our first playdate!

Holy fuck! Which way to the disco?


I think I may come.



If you'll excuse me, I need to change my panties!

Bloody Hell!

My period started today. I was at work when it started, and I ran to the bathroom and cried while I cleaned myself up. I'm currently working overhire in a union costume shop so it's hard to take an extended break like I did today. I worried that I wouldn't have time to subdue my puffy eyes before returning to my tailoring but I shouldn't have worried. I just kept my eyes on the collar I was working on, cast downward in my lap, pricking my fingers over and over in rhythm.

At lunch I called my husband and suggested we go to our favorite bar for drinks tonight. It's like turning a cause for weeping into cause for celebration, going to the Zig Zag. Murray fixed me a couple of outstanding cocktails and made me feel downright civilized. I loves me a good cocktail but I've decided that I won't drink any alchohol during my first trimester regardless of what all my European friends say, and that makes it hard since I seem to be on a six week cycle. I drink whatever I want for two weeks as if I were on a regular four week schedule even though I probably ovulate four weeks after my period starts. I've never been good about keeping track of my periods so I worry that I may be mistaken about my odd cycle. I should really buy stock in pregnancy tests. I took three in the past week and a half.

Cocktails or not, the buzz I got tonight is bittersweet. I'm very disappointed I'm not pregnant. I've been wanting a family for a long time, and it's hard to be patient now that I've found the perfect father for my child, and he's just as anxious as me to start a family. We're going to be great parents someday. Even if we never conceive a child, we'll adopt and be great parents!

That's the thing about me. I may get blue on occasion but it never sticks for long.

Upon further investigation, it appears instead of a four week cycle, I have a six week cycle. I spent a lot of time in my twenties scared to death that I was pregnant for this reason.

This means I have to wait two more weeks before I can find out if I'm pregnant. How vexing.

I wanna know now!

It's too early to take a pregnancy test, dammit!

I started a new job on Monday, just a six week contract at a place I've been working on and off for ten years now. Hard to believe it's been that long!! It's a little like coming home. We're knocking off a Christian Dior dress from a couple years ago and I'm working on the petticoat this week. It's amazing how long it takes to make these costumes.

My husband showed up to take me home with our cocker spaniel, all clean and smelling nice! Now he's fixing supper. Last night we went out for a casual dinner, followed by coffee and a movie. We made out in the elevator to the theater and then held hands all through the film. I am truly a lucky girl.

I am totally exhausted and I have to go to a fetish event tonight. I don't know if I'll be able to muster up the energy for a fancy outfit, but I'll see what I can do.

visiting the nephew

Yesterday we went to visit our new nephew. He's the cutest little thing but I have to admit I find newborns to be pretty boring. They just lay there sleeping most of the time, and sometimes they eat. Hoo boy that's a fun time. WHEE!

The thing I find most interesting about visiting newborns is that there's an atmosphere of calm in their homes. It's so relaxing I almost fell asleep with the baby napping on my chest. I feel that babies only seem helpless, when in fact they can turn an entire house into a slumbering castle, just like in Sleeping Beauty. It's useless to resist, I've seen it in at least three households now!

I have to wait a whole week before I can find out if I'm pregnant. God I could use a cocktail.

ovulation blues

I was ovulating last Saturday. I know because I got the telltale stringy discharge, accompanied by an uncontrollable urge to have sex. This month my husband was standing less than fifteen feet away when I noticed so we took advantage of the circumstances by spending a half hour trying to get pregnant. I prefer to call it, "makin' bunnies."

Today is Thursday and I've been fighting off the urge to burst into tears over the tiniest little thing for twenty-four hours. I hope to god I'm pregnant, otherwise I'll have to come up with another excuse for why I'm feeling so strange. I NEVER cry. I don't like crying.

My brother and sister-in-law just had a baby last week and the cuteness is killing me. My mother is in town to help and tonight we're taking her to dinner and she's spending the night. Tomorrow we're going to estate sales together. It will be my last weekday off for six whole weeks. I'm extremely annoyed that I'm spending my last days of the summer on the verge of tears. My to-do list is still miles long!

I hope to god I'm pregnant. My period isn't due for another week and a half so I can't blame it on PMS!

Oh god, I have to go mom-proof the house!!