Nursing while pregnant

I feel like I gripe about this every chance I get, but wow, nursing while pregnant is really, really annoying!! Henry doesn't nurse much during the day anymore thanfully, but in the evening, at night and in the morning it's torture. I feel like there's an electric current going from my nipples to the cringe section of my brain, so every time something brushes them I need to cringe. The actual nursing is okay for the first hour or so, but after repeated abuse I start fantasizing about how nice it would be if he had a sippy cup of milk instead.

I have no intention of stopping, I want Henry to self-wean. I have complete confidence in my body's ability to make enough milk for him and his new sibling when he arrives. Just this part is really hard for me. I read that it's not easy so at least I was prepared!

Besides the sensitive nipples, there's the sooting pain of new milk production after he's done nursing. It's kinda neat that my body is capable of all this. Clearly, we humans aren't biologically meant to be pregnant while nursing!

Daydreaming at naptime

Henry is taking his nap, and I'm daydreaming about what kind of bed we will need when the new baby comes. If it's a girl, she will need her own room to help contain the explosion of inevitable pink, and I think a daybed would be perfect! If it's a boy, they can share a room and bunk beds will be perfect! I just realized I've already looked at both on craigslist today!

We had our big nuchal transparency sonogram yesterday. It was nice to see the little bean hopping around in there, everything in it's place and the little heart going like mad! The technician said my placenta is at the back of my uterus, and when I told her I thought I felt the baby kicking already she said that's entirely possible! I've been feeling movement in there for at least two weeks but I didn't believe it.

Looks like my due date is about a week earlier than we thought, so that means my first trimester is officially over! Thank god!! I hope I feel as good during this second trimester as I did with Henry! He's been a real peach through all this.

Except for the nursing! Ouch! It's been so uncomfortable since I got pregnant!! So far most people have been supportive of my nursing while pregnant, which is great. Henry loves it and I really want to continue nursing until he's at least two. With this flu season this winter I think it's especially important. We will see how he feels once my milk changes, and if my supply drops!

I've been feeling pretty good lately, or so I thought until shortly after my 36th birthday when I bought myself some extremely expensive irrational shoes. Who knows how long I will be able to wear them before my feel swell up again. What was I thinking?!

I am nine and a half weeks pregnant already and I've lost four pounds I couldn't afford to lose. I think dealing with the nausea and a somewhat limited diet due to my braces is taking a toll. And of course I am still nursing and that burns a lot of calories. I am now below my pre-Henry pregnancy weight and several pounds of what's left is in my lactating boobs, which are still four cup sizes bigger than they were before Henry. I look like a lollipop.

However, I am lucky that so far in this pregnancy my cravings are nutritious! I'm craving tunafish sandwiches, oatmeal, molasses, and milk! Mmm. I'm eating oatmeal and molasses right now.

I had my first appointment with the OB last week. She says everything is going really well and our little bean has a very strong heartbeat! She thinks I have very little chance of a miscarriage now, which means in May next year I will be trying to care for a 21 month old toddler and a newborn! It's an exciting prospect that fills me with both joy and dread.

I think I may go for the planned C-section with my current doc. I don't think I have ever had a doctor I actually LIKED do much. I don't think it's worth risking this unique experience for a chance at a vaginal birth. I still have time to think about it. I really don't want to get cut open again, but I don't want 96 hours of labor ending in getting cut open like last time either.

In an effort to be a more pleasant person, I went through the complicated process of getting a referral for my chiropractor, then sceduling an appointment. I was sure I wouldn't get in until next week, but miracle of miracles, I'm going today!

I can't begin to tell you how much pain negatively affects my mood. Mr. Spouse has been walking around on eggshells.

After the back pain goes away it's time to re-tackle the thrush.

Hormones are fun!

I have has a really hard time controlling my emotions these past couple days. I'm dwelling on stuff that makes me angry and it's not helpful at all. I think it might be because I haven't made time for myself or had any playdates with Henry's little friends. I've just been so completely worn out! Even the thought of making plans makes me more tired. I hate it when I get to this point.

So this pregnancy calendar starts at July 29, the supposed first day of my last period. At our first ultrasound on September 11, the tech said I was six weeks and two days along. I have no idea what the first day of my last period was, I only had one in the last two years, but it lasted three weeks! It's nice to have a definitive date set on it. That makes me seven weeks and 5 days along now. Holy crap I have a long way to go.

I don't remember being this nauseous last time, dammit! Piss pie! It doesn't seem to matter what I eat, how much or how often. I just feel bleah.

And how weird is it to have braces while pregnant at nearly 36 years old?

Can I just say how much I'd like to get sloppy drunk right now? I wanna go on a bender! But I suppose I'll wait a few years for that. Meh.

I decided today that even though I am almost 36 and I have braces, I still would like people to treat me with the respect I deserve, and I think I could dress the part a little better. So I went shopping and bought a new grown up coat. I think this is the second new coat I've bought myself since moving out of my parents house in 1992. Go me. I got it home and realized that it's super boring. Maybe I'll dress it up with a snazzy vintage pin!

Vbac or C-section?

Yesterday's appointment went very well. I like my ob, I like her nurses and the rest of her staff, the location is convenient, and this doctor did my c-section that brought Henry into the world. However, she won't do a vbac.

My prenatal care was truly horrific with Henry. I'm still mentally scarred from his birth. It wasn't just the birthing process that was bad with him, it was nearly every visit to the midwife that was awful. It culminated with my midwife not returning pages from the nursing staff when I was in labor. If I ever see that woman again, I might end up in jail.

So with that in mind, sticking with my current ob has many attractive qualities. The biggest one for me is summed up in what the nurse said to me yesterday upon trying to find my c-section scar: "you could still be a topless dancer!" She did a magnificent job stitching me back up.

Sure I'm vain. Got a problem with that?

Even with all of the factors in her favor, the thought of going into surgery again makes me shudder with dread.

I can either continue my care with my current ob and have another c-section or I can find another doctor who will let me try a vaginal birth but I might still end up with another c-section.

The recovery from my previous one was awful. Two weeks on vicodin, two days in the hospital, trying to get used to having a baby during all that is something I don't care to repeat, especially while dealing with an almost two year old too.

I have a lot to think about.